Inevitably, from the time you are married, the question, ‘when are you having a baby’ follows you around. Family, friends, colleagues and even acquaintances are suddenly curious about your plans on having a baby. And if you have been married for a few years and are still childless, then the pressure can be quite overwhelming.
The pressure to have children is primarily because this is how it has always been previously. Your parents probably want to become grandparents as soon as possible so that they can enjoy being around their grandchildren and be active with them for as long as possible.
There’s also pressure from friends and peer group. This pressure may not always be in the form of questions about when a baby is expected, but as friends in similar age group become pregnant or have their babies the conversations change. Shared activities become less as the child takes over the time spent with friends earlier. Then the childfree woman may begin to feel like an outsider in the group and feel that having a baby will make her be a part of the group again. Or find a new group of friends.
The media reinforces the perfect family story by constantly showing happy young couples with babies. Both movies and advertisements build their stories around such family structures sending a very strong message that bliss is to be had only with such a family. The struggles of parenting are conveniently ignored and the sacrifices and hardships that have to be faced to build the perfect families are not shown.
However, for every couple the decision of when to have a baby needs to be made depending on their own preferences and not due to pressure from anywhere. The best way is to decide on what is important for them as a couple. What are the goals they have set for themselves to accomplish before having a baby? Are they financially comfortable enough to take on the responsibility of a baby? What about emotionally?
Age is sometimes a consideration as a pregnancy after the age or thirty-five is considered as risky and many things may go wrong. However, with advances in prenatal care and medicines today women are opting to have babies later in life and going through with it without any problem.
The best way to cope with the social pressure to have a baby is by sticking to the plan that you and your partner, as the person who is going to give birth and bring up the child, have chalked out. You are the best people to decide when the right time to have a baby is. The welfare of both the baby and the parents will be served best when you are emotionally and financially ready and eager to welcome your baby to the world.