Being afraid of parents makes children insecure and may leave them lonely. The child tries to sort out for themselves how to overcome their fears. Harsh or strict parenting may temporarily control behaviour, but it does not help a child learn to self-regulate. There is no internal tool more valuable for children than self-discipline. The child learns to obey, but they do not learn to think for themselves. They are less likely to take up responsibility for their actions. They tend to become more angry and rebellious as they grow older. They also become excellent liars and only “do right” when the parents are around.
Punishing a child in the heat of the moment is one of the most common and also the biggest parenting trap that a parent falls into. When a parent does that it becomes more of a power struggle. The parent becomes focused on winning the fight rather than working towards teaching the child to do the right thing.
Overly harsh punishments do not create regret; they only serve to create resentment in the child. Harsh parenting sabotages everything positive that a parent does and handicaps the child in their efforts to develop emotional self-discipline.
While inculcating discipline is necessary, it cannot be implemented by creating a negative impression on the young mind. So, parents should always focus on being firm without resorting to harshness, in words or through actions. Once the child is made to realise that tantrums are not going bend the rules, and the parents are not getting agitated by aggressive behaviour, they will gradually learn to fall in line. The mantra for parents is to stay cool and composed, even under trying circumstances.